Stepping off the path…

Last night I went for a long walk in McArthur. In some parts of town that means I walked in a well lit area and had no reason to be concerned of finding obstacles in my way. In other parts of town, however, the streets were very dark and I had to rely on the small amount of light that was shining from other areas to provide me with enough lumination to know where to put my feet down with each step I took. I did have my cell phone with me and could have used that to provide a guiding light for myself, but instead I was Facebooking, which means the light wasn’t shining on the road, it was shining in my eyes and making it even more difficult to see where I was going. Instead of walking in a straight line I was all over the road. I stepped of the sidewalk into the street or into the grass on the other side. I learned that texting and driving is far easier than texting and walking, especially in the dark. I think next time I go for a walk at night I will leave my phone in my pocket so I don’t get picked up for public intoxication.

It seems like the older I get the more my walk in life becomes like my walk through McArthur. I have one set direction – a set path I want to walk in, but I find myself distracted by other things that throw me off course and make me step off the path. The road is darkened by the night and the distractions are too heavy at times for me to find my way. I’ve stepped off the path far too many times, it seems, and I wish I could just get to where I’m wanting to go. I can’t. I’m intoxicated by the world around me and my fullest potential cannot be reached this way.

I want to walk a straight line. I want to walk tall and bold. I want to stand above the crowd. Somehow, somewhere along this path I got off track. I stepped off of the course and my walk led me astray. I’m just a simple man and I don’t know much, but I know this: It is so much easier to work to build someone else’s dream than it is to work on building your own. I’m going to keep walking. I’m sure I’ll step off of the path again..and again, and again, and again. I may never even get to where I’m going because of my inability to walk straight, but I’m going to walk. I’m sure most people who are reading this have stepped off the path in their own lives at times. Some may have their foot in the grass right now wondering how they ever got away from where they were wanting to go. I bet we all get this way sometimes. Let’s all continue to fight through our distractions and keep our feet moving one right in front of the other. I think death may be the only destination we ever actually reach in life and the only thing that should matter to us is the steps we’ve taken all along the way. Sometimes I feel like people are critical of my walk. To those people I would like to say this: I don’t walk this road for you. I walk it for me. If you don’t like where I’m going, watch out, because you’re probably going to put your foot in a ditch. You should probably be focused on your own steps, not mine. Get back on the path.

Navigator down…

Yesterday I decided to travel to West Virginia to visit with my girlfriend who is moving there for a job that she just started working recently.  Unfamiliar with the territory, I decided to use the gps on my phone to navigate the course to the hotel she is staying in.  I was probably about half way into my trip before I realized there is something wrong with my gps.  It refused to work for me.  I was without direction.  Luckily, i remembered the route in my head from when I looked it up earlier in the day.  I arrived at the hotel with no problems, but I did show up with an understanding that I need to figure out why the gps on my phone isn’t working.  I could have easily gotten lost if I had not remembered the directions.

It is always nice to have a voice to tell you which turn is the right one.  It helps to know which road we are on and which one is coming next.  It is comforting to know there is a turn coming up that we previously were not aware of.  These are the kind of things gps will point out to us, but without them, we must navigate on our own.

I feel like this is the lesson we need to learn in life.  All of us can appreciate that voice telling us where to go and how to get there, but many of us are finding our own way.  Most of us do not have the course mapped out for us.  The best chance we have is to take the turns that seem to be the right ones, and hope we end up where we set out to go.  The answer is coming to us in spoken form, but it comes with a good educated guess and hopes of heading in the right direction.

The promising thing for me was that I did have a map to look at before I left.  Although I relied heavily on my memory to get me to my destination, I was able to get there without a navigation system.  I think the reason why most people don’t get to the place they were wanting to go is they didn’t take a moment to look over the map before they got on the road.  Without the map, finding direction is an impossible task.   You will get lost, and you most likely live that way.

Take a moment to map out your course before you make a move on the road of life.  Your gps system may fail you, but with the proper direction locked into your mind, you can get there.  You can and will succeed in finding your destination in life if you take the time to seek for proper direction.  I’m late.  I tried to drive the course alone.  I went with no gps, no map, no voice to tell me where I am or where I’m going.  I went alone.  Still, I don’t think it’s too late to look at a map and get on course.  This way, every step I take from here on I will know where I am, and know exactly how to get to where I’m going.  I might feel a little uncertain without my gps, but with the directions in my head, I can and will get there.  You can too.  Map it out.

Walking Blindfolded…

There is a game people play (I’m really not sure if it has a name) where one person places a blindfold over their eyes and tries to navigate a course while their partner directions them on where to go.  The game teaches players to learn to listen and accept guidance.  When a player can successfully make it through the course without running into anything, they win.  The more this process is practiced, the better the players will become.

Sometimes I feel like I am navigating a course as well.  I feel like I’m walking blindly, waiting for instruction, but I hear no voice.  I walk alone.  At times, If I spread out my arms and feel around, I begin to think I can do this, I can make it, but then I walk straight into a wall.  I pick myself up and begin again, only to find myself in the same situation, hitting another wall.  This game seems unwinnable.  It seems unfair.  Sometimes I wonder if the people who are supposed to be shouting out direction to me are instead sitting back and laughing while they watch me fail.  But that can’t be true.  No one is there.

I know what you might be thinking.  I guess I should point out that I am not speaking of a higher being here.  I am simply speaking of that group of people who are close to you.  The ones who shape your life by being a part of it.  This is where I lack.  When I think about it, there are plenty of people who are friendly to me.  There are a lot of people who could shout out my directions to me.  But they are so far away.  No one is close.  Everyone is far.  Every once in a while a voice gets close enough for me to hear.  It tells me where to turn, when to stop and when to go.  It tells me where to go.  It guides me.  Then I can’t hear it anymore, and I walk into the same wall again.

So I sit here, knelt down on the floor, my head dropped in despair.  Why do I keep hitting this wall?  Why can’t I find my way out of this maze?  I want to remove my blindfold, but even if I do, I have already accepted the hard truth.  I wasn’t meant to do this alone.  There were supposed to be voices guiding me.  Every wall I hit I fall down again and cry out, “Where is that voice?  Where is the voice that is supposed to guide me?”  This game is unwinnable when played alone.  Some people can’t solve the puzzle . . . they just become a part of it.  They stay in the maze.  They get lost in the game.

I don’t want this to be my fate.  If I have to hit this wall so many times I bust a hole through it, then so be it.  I don’t want to be here.  I want to get past this.  I want to win.  Sometimes the only voice of reason we hear is our own.  I can’t see where I’m going but I can remember which way not to go.  It hurts to do this alone, but I want to make it through.  I will finish this game.